awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
