sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
