he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
