Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
