I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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