Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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