I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
