wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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