T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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