Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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