its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
