Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Randomize
