take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
