My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
oh god the rape fog is back!
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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