She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
