Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
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