been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Randomize
