Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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