meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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