The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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