I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
