So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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