we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize