just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
