i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize
