you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
