Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So apparently I’m into choking now
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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