This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize