We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
