I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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