I like my sex mixed with concussions.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
