So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
