I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Randomize
