i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
