I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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