ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
