Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
