Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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