let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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