plz talk dirty to me
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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