I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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