Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
So squirting runs in the family.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
