I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
