I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
do nipples grow back?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
