I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
