We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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