Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
no, he came in my armpit
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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