In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I'm really into asian looking animals
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
