I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
