i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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