yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
