More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Randomize
